Bachelorette Flies High, Lets One Man Go

Good morning, fellow Bachelorette watchers! In last night's episode, Jillian took her three remaining bachelors to the island of Maui for some fun in the sun and romantic alone time, but all did not go the way she expected.

Kiptyn
Jillian and Kiptyn went on a ropes course and had to climb what Jillian called a "totem pole," which she said made her physically ill. Wonderboy Kip had to coach his damsel onto the top, which made her trust him even more. Ummm, okay? Once they reached the top, Jill overcame her fear and leapt toward the trapezes dangling in front of them. Even though she missed it by a mile, she squealed that she was "so close!" and was impressed that "perfect" Kiptyn reached his.

Their dinner date was pretty boring, and the only legitimate question she bothered to ask was what his flaws were. His answer: flamenco dancing. (Ha, ha.) Jillian still feels Kip is too good for her, yet she takes him to the fantasy suite. All in all, I feel like Kiptyn is still a frat boy player, which Jillian apparently LOVES because unlike Reid or Ed, she doesn't make him prove himself to her.

Reid
Jillian takes Reid on a romantic helicopter ride over the island, where they learn that the pilot is an ordained minister. She is certainly pressuring Reid into a proposal, or at least a confession of feelings. I get where she is coming from but not all guys move at a lightning-fast pace. I think Reid's feelings for her are true and Jillian shouldn't need verbal confirmation of such. I would have hated Reid to tell her he was falling in love with her when he really wasn't ready to say it. Shame on you, Jillian.

Despite his lack of verbal confessions of love, Jillian takes him to the fantasy suite where they have a romantic bubble bath. Since when did we go into the fantasy suite? I think that was a little much, but nothing compared to what they did on Ed's date...

Ed
Ed, Ed, Ed. Where to begin? I really, really liked Ed ever since the beginning, but these last two dates are making him more and more creepy. Maybe it's just editing. Maybe it's his nickname of "Richie." Maybe it's his green "mankini" - which didn't bother me until he wore it when he took Jillian to MEET HIS PARENTS. Jillian put her clothes back on, could Ed not have pulled on his cargo shorts? Seriously, dude. Ed's parents were cute and ultimately gave their blessing, and Jillian offered Ed the fantasy suite. At least he put clothes on for that part. However, I was kind of turned off by his speech to Jillian, during which he didn't even look at her. And then came the big "moment" that's been teased all season long: Ed and Jillian did not have the "sexy time" they had hoped for. Does that mean little Ed didn't perform? That they were not really in the mood? Or that they were just overwhelmed and exhausted? I guess we'll never know, but it didn't prevent Jill from keeping him around.

In the end, Reid's lack of verbal commitment sent him home, and it's obvious his decision to keep quiet is something he regrets. Will he make like Ed and Jake and come back past his expiration date?

The Bachelorette and All Things Sleazy

In this episode of the Bachelorette... Jillian wears really bad outfits! Jillian speaks really poor Spanish! Jillian refuses the fantasy suites! And finally.. Jillian dumps Wes Hayden, the Sleazemeiser himself.

Now, I could talk about all the cutesy-shmootzy romatic things about this episode, but no one really wants to read about that. So I'll jump straight to it...

If you were really desperate for something to do this July 4th holiday, you could have headed to the House of Blues in Dallas to see none other than the Wes Hayden Band perform. Tickets were a whopping $9-$15 dollars, but I'm sure it was still pretty desolate. You know, cause it was a holiday and all. And those tickets prices were ridonkulous!

If you were down in Austin instead, you could go meet the infamous Laurel herself, at her spa, Peach Body. There, she would have continuously denied being Wes' girlfriend, even though he admitted in the cab that he was "the only guy to make it to the final four with a girlfriend." And guess what? This girl gets around, because just a couple years earlier, she dated ex-Bachelor Brad Womack, and is reportedly the reason he dumped both contestants at the end. (She reportedly dated another contestant during Jen Schiff's season too!) Either this girl is obsessed with the Bachelor/ette, or the producers don't vet their bachelors and male contestants very well.

I hope you all enjoyed Wes' little drunken rant in the back of the limo, and his bragging to the other guys that when he got home he would "be having lots of sex," admitting to Jillian that the show was his manager's idea, and that he was "looking out for numero uno."

I sincerely hope the Bachelorette producers look back on the Wes debacle and see the error of their ways, because he did not make for good TV in any way, shape, or form, and we are all beyond thankful he's gone.

Bachelorette Reveals Two Shockers!

Well, Bacheloretters, did you see this coming?

ABC continually teased a Jake-Wes confrontation in Texas after Wes takes Jillian to meet - yep, you guess it - his band, but what they didn't tease was Jillian continuing to buy all of Wes's bulls**t even after not one, not two, but three of the guys tried to convince her that not everyone was there for the right reasons. The entire drama with Jake seemed completely contrived, even if his confession that Wes has a girlfriend (although still unfounded by what's been aired) is true. Jillian agreed to visit his family, and even then it seemed like his moms (bio-mom and step-mom, but no dad. go figure.) and sisters are playing along to help Wes launch his career so they can reap the benefits. According to them, everyone tells lies about Wes because they are just so damn jealous of him! Yeah, kind of hard to believe. But even after all the drama and relentless voiceovers of Wes claiming that "he's only here for his music", he claimed another rose at the ceremony.

Shocker number two, as many of my fellow fans have predicted, was the return of Ed. And boy was I glad! Ed is and has been my favorite, and I was ecstatic to see him ask Jillian for a second chance. I could just see the relief on her face: Thank God I don't have to turn down a proposal from one of these shmucks! Although he missed out on a train ride through the wilderness and a hometown meeting with his family, Jillian didn't seem to think twice about keeping him over this week's ousters, Michael and Jesse.

Of these two, I am saddest to see Michael go, but it was painfully obvious that he felt way more for Jillian than she did for him. Jesse has always been rather dull and would never be able to match Jillian's high energy. The only other thing that needs to be mentioned about the hometown dates was Kiptyn's freaky "Real Housewife" mom. Eek. Definitely too high-society yacht-club for our Bachelorette.

Now we are down to the final four, Kiptyn, Ed, Wes, and Reid and a trip to Spain. Here's to an ouster for Wes next week and a Reid-Ed final two. Go team Ed!

The Bachelorette: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off!

A lotta drama followed Jilli this week as she went on one hot one-on-one, a chilly group date, and an emotional 2-on-1 that sent one guy packing.

Kiptyn got the one-on-one date, which found him and Jillian kayaking to buy groceries - I want to know how they got them home! - and cooking up a romantic dinner. Kiptyn definitely has the most physical chemistry with Jillian and assuming he keeps up this streak, I'm betting on him for the final two.

Jillian then takes 10 of the guys on a group date to play curling. Can I just say I am mesmerized by this sport? I think all the guys really got into it and Michael was exceptionally cute with the way he hugged Jillian, commented in his interview how beautiful she looked, and told the other guys that he had a crush on her. Despite his lack of time with her, I think he is falling for our bachelorette, and he really deserves some time alone with her. However, he didn't get his chance this week, as the guys broke into teams to compete for some quality Jillian time, and poor Michael was on the losing side.

The winning team then got to dine with Jillian aboard a historical boat. I was glad that David was on the winning team, because it finally showed Jillian what the rest of us knew all along - that Dave is the ultimate d-bag. During his alone time with Jillian, he proceeded to comment on both her t*ts and her ass, touch her inappropriately, and try to force a kiss. To be honest, I'm surprised he didn't end up overboard. Jillian also accused Jake of being "too perfect" (really? you can tell that from 1.2 dates?) which I'm afraid will not bode well for him, and finally connected with Jesse, who got the date rose.

Finally, Jillian took Mark and Mike on the dreaded 2-on-1 date. For a while, Mike seemed to be taking charge and Mark just seemed shy and awkward. But during their alone time, Mike spewed cliche'd lines like "I would do whatever it takes to make you happy" while Mark opened up about a past relationship that left him closed off, but still believing in love. To the surprise of many in the house, Mike was sent home.

The cocktail party quickly turned sour, with three of the guys - Reid, Jake, and Wes - bringing up the "wrong intentions" of "certain" bachelors. CoughWesCough. Tanner even goes so far to tell Jill that some of the guys in the house still have girlfriends. Although we definitely heard Wes say that he's fallen in love with "3 or 4" women at a time, does that mean he's currently in a relationship? After this news, Jillian confronts the guys and calls off the cocktail party (which, as I later learned, was supposed to include Jillian's cousin Tori, who might have a better bullsh*t radar than poor Jillian). Even when Chris and some of the bachelors ask the two-timer in question to "man up" and come clean, no one steps forward, and Jillian must make a decision without knowing the truth. She ultimately sends home Dave (no shock there) and Juan, giving the episode an expected, yet ironic ending.

Any ideas who Jilli will take to the final 2? Do you think Wes will stick around for a while, or will his "true" intentions be known? And how adorable were Mike and Reid this week?

Bachelorette: Down by Three

**Spoilers Ahead**

Last night's episode of the Bachelorette only furthered my dislike for some of the bachelors and showcased only a handful that I like for Jillian, who is becoming a little bit more of a nutcase with each episode that airs.

The first date went to Ed, who is one of the front runners in my book. He seems genuinely sweet, focused, and just an all around nice guy. We learn that he's a quite scared of Jillian's "plunge off the top of a building" date, likes to sing karaoke although he's not good, and spends too much time working. If those are the only bad things about him, then I'm good! Jill gives him a rose and he moves into the Mansion.

The next date is a group date with everyone except Jake, David, and Sasha. While Dave sputters off some nonsense about hating Juan, the rest of the guys head to a "real Hollywood set" to film some horribly written "western" scenes with bad acting and even worse outfits. Several of the boys get to kiss Jillian, while Mike and Michael get to reenact a scene from Brokeback Mountain. Wes' jealous side emerges again and tells Jill that she's "kind of" cheating on him. She acknowledges his controlling nature, but thinks its "cute." (Ummmm...) After they wrap, they head to a penthouse with a hottub, where Tanner P's foot fetish is back in full swing and Reid and Robby get to spend some alone time with Jillian. Robby gets the individual rose for the night.

The third date goes to Sasha, who I liked at the beginning, until he came out and said all the other bachelors were sheep while he was a wolf. (Ummm...) On their date, Jill and Sasha snapped photos of each other sitting atop vintage cars in an auto museum, then went out for a joyride in a Ferrari. During their meal, Sasha confessed that he was in a near-paralyzing car accident in high school, and that he only had 3 girlfriends - 2 in high school and one in college. How old is this guy again? Jill thinks his lack of experience "being in love" is a downside to him, but I honestly think it's just an excuse for the lack of chemistry the two have. He said he was holding out to love someone that truly mattered, his "mythical unicorn" (what?). Jill decides not to keep him around and sends him to the airport on a bus. Wow, what a way to go.

Later that evening, Wes serenades Jillian with "the song he wrote for her," which he just played five minutes earlier for the guys in the bunk house. How sick are you of this song? Apparently, Jill is not sick of it yet, and invites Wes up to her balcony for yet ANOTHER rousing rendition of "they say love, it don't come eeeaaasssyyyyyy." Does this song even have another line?)

During the reception, Dave the egomaniacal tool continued his (probably drunken) vendetta against Juan, especially after Juan interrupted his time with Jillian. He then later calls out Mark for not bringing up Juan's "wrong reasons for being there" with Jillian. Yes, Juan is a little clingy and not athletic and butch as the other dudes, but what is this really? Dave's extreme homophobia (against "less-of-a-man" Juan) coming out? And Robby sided with Dave, although unlike Dave, he's not coming right out with a murder plot against him. I wonder what else is going on with Juan. Maybe he's the one with the girlfriend that keeps being teased in the promos?

And elsewhere, we're treated to Tanner P's foot dance and monologue, written and choreographed by Tanner P. Although kinda disturbing, it was a little funny. And he thinks he doesn't have talent!

Jillian seems to be completely unaware of everything that is going on amongst the men in the house, because she inexplicably keeps Wes and Dave around another week, giving Brad and Tanner F. the boot. Understandably, she and Brad had absolutely NO chemistry during the "Wild West" scenes, but I hoped on a moral level that she would choose Tanner F. over Dave. But on anentertainment level, Dave is a necessary evil, because without him we wouldn't get our Dave-Juan showdown, and that would just be wrong, wouldn't it?

After tonight's episode, I'm pulling for Robby, Jake, Ed, and Reid, and would like to see more of Jesse and Mark. What about you guys?

The Bachelorette 5: Jillian Meets the Men

A new season of Bachelor/Bachelorette is upon us, and I for one am glad to be rid of whiny, wishy-washy Jason Mesnick and his continuous bewildered expression. This time around we're graced with last season's fave Jillian Harris and a whole array of men, some of whom I liked and some of whom I didn't. And in a new twist, she didn't have just 25 bachelors to choose from, she had 30.

A few observations: This season has a lot of Texans (Wes, Jake, Kyle, Sasha and Tanner P.), a lot of athletic guys (soccer coach, cyclist, surfer, pole vaulter), and a lot of strange names/spellings (Kiptyn, Julien, Matheu, and 2 Tanners). We also learned that Jillian has a soft spot for country music, wine, and guys from the trailer park.

Let's start with who I didn't like. First and foremost, I was glad she didn't keep Greg "Bilbro," the male model-slash-break dance wannabe, Kyle, who gave her a moustache finger "tattoo" and Stephen, the perpetually cynical New Yorkian, who decided Jillian didn't like "awesome guys." I was highly disappointed that she also kept greasy-haired "Great Catch" Mike, trailer-park lovin' "Hot Tub Harris" Brian, "Country Superstar in Chihuahua Mexico" Wes, and of "I'm not gay, I just like feet" Tanner P.

She kept the majority of my favorites from the night, including Kiptyn (the surfer), Sasha (the guy with the huge Serbian family), and Jake (the pilot), as well as Ed (the guy from Chicago), Jesse (the winemaker) Michael (the break dance instructor), and Mark (the pizza maker). I was disappointed she didn't keep John H., the shy guy that didn't get his one-on-one time until the end. I wasn't so sure about a few of the middle-of-the-road picks, like David, who got the first impression rose, Juan, who works with his mommy, and Matheu, whose hobby is collecting signatures for his cowboy hat.

As for the other guys that got little to no screen time --is that due to editing, or did they really not make an effort to talk to Jillian one-on-one? If they did get one-on-one time, I would like to know what they said to her that got them booted.

What do you think, watchers? Did Jillian keep your initial faves? Did you have any comprehension of why she kept Mike, Brian, or Tanner P.?